Inner Self ... ... Reflect but no "ion"

Been having some thots during my "emo" period... It somehow bring me to this question ... .what is "WANT" and what is "NEED" ? and what is the main difference between these two ? Did a search on the net and more of less this is the meaning ...

Need -
A need is something you have to have, something you can't do without to survive. Of course its food, water, air. Needs will change as individual's progress through life.

Want -
Want is something you would like to have. It has the emotional pull. A need doesn't over power wants unless it affects a person's shelter, food, water, or air supply.

I think ,,, i had a long time dealing with these 2 and thot that i been doing a good job but NO!!!!! i didn't .... i managed to do certain part of it but still not good enuff .... i really need to keep my focus and try to draw the line better. I wan this ... I wan that ... I wan everything !!!!! ( even though maybe i dun even need any of them !!!)

I want a change in life .... is there anyone out there that can help me ? hee hee some magic perhaps ?

Also i think part of my "Emo" comes from my last trip, as i was not really feeling well , i didn't play as much , thus i feel like an "outcast" :( also realized that me being older , fatter , bigger , bad temper or whatever reasons ... they dun dare to play me cos the scared of me .... sob sob ..... I am just another plain john .... i want to be part of the team , the gang .... not some bully , think i abit "犯賤" most ppl will be more then happy to not bully or played with .... but me ... think i am weird .... I just want to be a part of everything .... I guess ....

Also from my classmate @ work , my boss had been talking and asking her for an answer as to stay or leave after our attachment ends. Well seriously, I dun think i would wan to stay on if he ask me , which would be my turn soon , but then again who knows maybe the offer will be good that i cannot resists ? LOL

Watever it is ..... i really hope i can be a better person .... Think i am too lazy ... i only know how to tok n tok n tok ... thus ppl think i am sooooo good in talking ... so good in thinking and sooo good in life but then i am just "shit" sigh ... I do want to be the best I can be but then yet I am doing nothing to achieve that. NATO = No Action , Talk Only....

For those who out there having this problem ... hope this helps :)

Dealing with a Crush on a Friend
-------------------------
He's your good friend. She's your best confidant. You have known each other for a few years and have shared meals, movies, hobbies and vacations. You have confided to each other about your latest love interest and turned to one another for support when the relationship(s) failed. You can't imagine life without your good friend.

But for a while....

You've felt jealous of his dates. You've been overprotective of her since she has been seeing the jerk. You've been having very strong feelings of attraction and a desire for something more than friendship. Could it be that your feelings for him/her have grown into something more? If so, your relationship may have developed into a "friend crush".

You don't know what to do. You know you want to continue spending time together- more time. But it's getting hard. You fantasize about having more with this person and are beginning to feel like a jealous would-be partner. Do you pretend everything is the same? Do you start distancing yourself- hoping your feelings will go back to the way they were? Do you actually TALK directly and honestly with your friend about how you feel?

What will happen to the relationship if you make the WRONG choice?

Just as all people are unique, so are the characteristics of their relationships with others. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this increasingly common dilemma. So, let's take a look at your options. You can:

Ignore your feelings, keep your boundaries in check and pretend everything is status quo
In order to choose this option, you must be able to deny your feelings so well that even you don't know what they are. You will also have to continue being comfortable on the sidelines while someone else has the relationship with this person that you desire. You will most likely be asked what you think of this or that person and be expected to be happy and supportive of your friend when they meet the right someone for them. In return for all this, you will still have your friend.

Begin to spend less time with your friend (crush) while seeking out new friendships to pursue and strengthen
This option will most likely cause confusion and hurt on the part of your friend who will wonder what happened. They may be understanding and accepting of your need to spread your wings and support you in doing what you need to do. Either way, you will see less of them and your relationship can weaken and perhaps disappear altogether as they move on with new people. If you can distance yourself for a while and no longer feel the romantic butterflies, you can always give them a call and may be able to pick up somewhere near where you left off.

Continue the relationship with your own hidden agendas - a desire for romantic intimacy and the hope that the person will realize that they feel the same way
If they become involved with someone else in the meantime, you can work to sabotage their new relationship or you can leave them wondering where all your anger and hurt feelings are coming from. You can spend a lot of time and energy handling it this way, without anything to show for your efforts but the loss of a good friend.

Have an open and honest discussion with your friend regarding your new feelings for them
This is the choice that seems to be the hardest for folks to make. Often what I hear from people in this position is that they fear "ruining the friendship" if they discuss their feelings honestly. While this is a very understandable concern, it isn't well thought out. It is emotional, not rational.

Look again at the other options. Every one will bring about a change in your current friendship.

Why?

Once your feelings have changed, so does the relationship. Ignoring them, hiding them or distancing yourself will lessen your closeness and the positive dynamics that flow between good friends. You can't go back. You need to decide how you want to move forward or if this is an option for you. It is also possible in choosing this option that you will learn that they have similar feelings for you that they were afraid to reveal. Therefore choosing this option could result in romance and a love relationship based on true friendship.

Intimacy exists in all close relationships. It is the ability to be completely open and vulnerable to another without fear of harm or rejection. So, by definition, we cannot be intimate with another while hiding or denying our true feelings and needs to them.

The choice will always be yours. Choosing wisely is about really knowing the options, the consequences they bring and what will be best for you and your friend.

Emo again ....

Been sick for the past week .... too much time at home and been thru thinking alot. Still have alot of things inside me that cannot be told to others.As i posted b4 , still i can't find someone whom i can tell everything.Most can share some but not everything, yet i dun feel like blogging it out as it should be deep within me. Hope this emo will pass soon ... i dun have much time left ... 3 more mths to end of course and that will means to come out to working world again .... Still sick ... off + holiday + leave + Mc .... i been away from work for 6 days ... working tomorrow ... sure kena one :P

Life is the process of finding love.

Every person will need to find four people in his/her life.
First person is yourself.
Second person is the one you love most.
Third person is the one who loves you most.
Lastly, the one you spend the rest of your life with.

In life, first you will meet with the one you love most,
and learn how love feels;
Because you know how love feels,
you can find the person who loves you most.

When you have experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved,
you will then know what it is you need most. Then you will find the
person who is most suitable for you, to be able to spend the rest of your life with.

Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person.
The one you love most doesn’t love you;
The one who loves you most is never the one you love most;
And the one you spend your life with, is never the one you love
most or the one who loves you most.

He/She is just the person who happens to be at the right place at
the right time. Which person are you in other people’s life?

No person will purposely have a change of heart.
At the point in time when he/she loves you, he/she really loves you;
But when he/she doesn’t love you anymore, he/she really doesn’t love
you anymore; When he/she loves you, he/she can pretend that he/she doesn’t.
Same goes, when he/she loves you no more, there’s no way he/she can pretend he/she loves you.

When a person doesn’t love you and wants to leave you,
you must ask yourself if you still love him/her. If you also don’t
love him/her anymore, don’t ever let him/her leave just to save your pride.
If you still love him/her, you should wish him/her happiness and
hope that he/she will be with the one he/she loves most, not stop
him/her from it. If you stop him/her from finding true happiness with the one he/she
loves, it shows you already don’t love him/her, And if you don’t love
him/her, what rights do you have to blame him/her for a change of heart?

Love is not possessive.
If you like the moon, you can just take it down and put it in your
basin. But the moonlight still shines upon you.
In other words, when you love a person, you can use another method
of possessing that person. Let him/her become a permanent memory in your life.

If you really love the person, you must love him/her for what he/she is;
Love him/her for his/her good points and the bad, You can wish for
him/her to become like what you like him/her to be just because you love him/her.
If he/she can change to become what you like him/her to be, you don’t love him/her anymore.

When you really love a person, you cannot find reason why you love him/her,

You only know that no matter when and where, good mood or bad mood,
you will wish to have this person be with you.
Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises or listing criteria.
In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give in at times,
not always be on the receiving end.
Being away from each other is a type of test.

If the relationship isn’t strong, then you can only admit defeat.
Real love will never become hate.

When two people are in love,
they love to ask each other to swear and to make promises.
Why do they ask each other to swear and promise?
Because they don’t trust each other, they don’t trust their lover.
These swear and promises are useless;
Till the sky falls, till the ocean dry, my love for you will never change!
We all know that the sky will never fall, the ocean will never dry.
Even if it does happen, are we still alive by then?

Be careful when making promises, don’t make promises that you cannot keep.
Swear by things that can never happen, because it can never happen,
so no harm just saying it casually. Remember, swearing by things that can never happen are the most touching!

In a relationship, what you say is one thing, but what you do is another;
The one saying doesn’t believe; the one listening also doesn’t believe.

Which person have you found so far? In the world so big, which person have you found? And who has found you?

Iphone Cunpcakes anyone ?

Saw this online which is done byNick Bilton and Danielle Bilton which is damm cool and they actually won the first prize for NYC Cupcake Decorating Championships & Ignite NYC ... Think i wan try make also LOL

Term Break - Trip to KL

View of the pool

View from the room

Finally term 4 is over and we had decided to go KL for this term break. So last week we go ahead and book for a 3D2N trip to KL , we booked cheap bus tickets from Causeway Link @ $49 for a return trip , was quite good deal :P cos we wanted to make this as budget as possible. Hotel , we manage to get staff price for Hilton ( @ least 5 star) as JS 's cousin is working there, so we got quite a good deal.

On Sunday, I went over to JS place to stay over and went to mit the gals @ IMM the next day @ 7.45 am as the bus leave IMM @ 8am.( Forget to mention that my throat was swollen on saturday nite and it makes me hard to eat or sallow. Did not inform JS about it cos feels bad about it cos he said that he had rsvp some very sweet melon for me the day b4. So ends up i have to drink his "special milk" - mix of ribena + milk , rock melon and 1 cup of tiger beer , was like hell trying to sallow but endure it somehow. Also did not have a good sleep due to the throat and cough)

It rained that morning and ends up me n JS had to share his tiny umbrella from JE mrt to IMM. Had a quick coffee there and bought MAC for breakfast on the bus. The bus leave quite on the dot and seems not too bad for a budget price we paid for it. After both customs, all 4 of us proceed with operation "tiloh" ( sleep in malay - dunno if i spell correctly though). We reach the outskirt of KL ard 1 pm+ , it was not where we supposed to stop. Js was hmm not happy as per normal, but no choice cos so lucky for us that the day we arrive is the first day they started to use the temp bus interchange, due to Ramadan, they scare all buses will jammed the city area, so for that abt 20 days , all travel coaches will have to stop outside in the outskirt and transfer to the city itself. We took a cab to the hotel , which was less then 15 min away. The hotel had a great location , right next to the train station which happen to be the main interchange station.

We found Js's cousin GF and she assisted us to check-in , only to find out none of us had a credit card on us , luckily Lynn got hr mum's debit card. Proceed to the room and drop our stuff and make our way out for lunch as all of us was very hungry ( Js actually wanted to take a shower, but was denied cos he shower very long one ). We took a cab to Mid-Valley Plaza and had lunch @ this Italian grill chicken restarant called "Nado" ( i think again ). Food was good but due to my throat ... i had minimum :( after that we continue to shop a bit here n there and then make our way back to the hotel. Drop our stuffs and leave for din din @ Jalan Alok ( Js keep telling his cousin that we are eating @ Lorong Ah Soo .... duhz ... 1 in KL and 1 in SG , huge difference).

After din din , we had a walk along Bukit Bintang and Js wanted to show us the stretch of happening pubs along bintang walk but after walking for a long long time , we gave up then took a cab back to the hotel , 1 min after in the cab ... we saw the place that we wanted to go LOL . Reach hotel , supposed to have a drinking + cards session , but Js complaint of back pain and thus all was cancelled as he was really having a really backache. Can see that he is really in great pain. At around 3+ saw that he like kinda of sleeping on the floor liao then i went to sleep.( was kinda of sad when in the morning , when complaint tired and said was staying up till 3am++( have to admit i was tired but of cos i saw that he was like sleeping) to make sure he was ok ... he say where got ... i was sleeping soundly , where got stay up for him ... really @#$@$.Woke up ard 5am + cos he went toliet and on all the light :( . then went ahead to bed again. Woke up in the morning ( supposed to be 7am but too tired so we all wake up ard 8am++) went ahead with breakfast in the hotel , I didn't enjoy much again cos i had a hard time swallowing :(

Left the hotel ard noon time and took a cab to Plaza Darmas to this shop called "EuroChef" they sells alot of kitchenware and esp alot of "Matfer" products, one of the reasons why we came to KL. Found the place and bought some stuffs, so happy that i finally got my white set of chef knife n saw knife, bough also a tool for cake deco and a "pen" for writing. We spend a total of more then 1K RM there.... pocket burn hole ..... After that we had some cakes tasting ard there, the cakes looks really nice but taste wise .... so-so only. But they have a tea there that i tried was quite good ... it's called "San Terri Love Story " it consist of - apple , passion fruit , cinnimon , honey , lemon flavour tea ... it was quite good !!! ( think the shop is called San Terri Cafe @ Sri Harmas Plaza"

We made our way to One Utma after that and had lunch @ this vietnam restaurant called "Vietnam Kitchen" , the food was actually very good , Esp to try is the Pork ribs in caramel sauce , steam mince meat , pork in coconut sauce and more ... actually no complaint about the food @ all , Js 's favourite drink was the "six treasure " highly recommanded. After lunch , me and lynn went to buy rose petals for Js , as he always say he wanted to have bath in a bathtub with rose petals. Played hide-n-seek with them as to keep it a surprise for him.Made our way back to the hotel as the cousin going to bring us out for din din that nite.

Lynn , Js and me went ahead to the jaccuize and pool after that we had fun with the slide there :) Yj did not join us in the pool cos "come red". Js's cousin came n mit us at ard 7+ and we all went back to the room to take a shower nad then left for din din. After din din , we drive ard a bit then headed back to the hotel. Had some "cat fight" in the room and Js proceed with his rose bath. In the end , he actually fall asleep inside, lynn n Yj shared the bathtub in the other room , me n Js's cousin was in the room watching movies. Did not ton that nite also cos the cousin sleeping in our room and he working early that day. Lynn was tired too , Js a bit drunk but sober after the shower which i ask him to take to wash off those petals.

Last day , suppose to go KLCC but overslept and long breakfast , can u believe ??? they ate for about 2 hours , i went back to bed cos i can't eat much again. After that they played again in the room at @ 12pm finally we get our asses out to have lunch @ Times Square. Was quite rush for all cos we need to be back @ the hotel b4 3pm and check out by 3.30pm to take a cab as our bus will leave @ 4pm.Reach the temp bus stop ard 4pm and got on the bus. The bus left about 4.15pm and by ard 8pm we reach woodlands custom, was quite fast as there was no jams.

Think we wasted tooooo much time in sleeping and in the room doing cat fights. other then that do enjoy the company of them, wish i was not sick though ,,... can't really enjoy all the good food. hope to do it again with them soon, luv you gals n guy.

1 mad + 1 GrumpyThe auto washing toilet bowl

Gone Drinking ....

Went drinking after class on Wed again .... decided not to get drunk cos alot of chocolate to carry .... n due to reasons i dunno ... one of my classmate decided that he wanted to be drunk that nite ... guess alot of things in his mind that we all dunno .. and hmmm true enuff he got a bit high .... drunk or not ... i really dunno .... it just soo strange ... how can someone be drunk for a moment ... then the next he is sober ? even when i send him home ... he was soo drunk in the cab ... but once reach his place he got sober again .... then after a while he got all drunk again ..... and then sober again ..... this is just soooooo weird ...if a person is drunk or sober i will know how to take care .... but when he is on n off ... i really dunno how to go about taking care of him ... cos i dunno when he is sober n when drunk again ..... but one thing for sure when a big guy got drunk n emo .... it's really saddening ... feel sad also ... but dun worries ... no matter wat happen we still love you and we will be there always for you as long as we can ...... :) hugz!

bad week....

Sigh alot of bad things happen this week ... hope all these will go off asap .... best of all .. while @ work today ... i kena the oven 5 times ..... and 4 times is @ the same area !!! how suay can u get .... sianz ... anyway attached a pic of out chalet last week ... the others are not for your eyes :P ... also attached my 4 times wound LOL

DIPB003 Chalet :) Part 1

Just got back from skool and a 3D2N escape @ Aloha Changi ... It was crazy ... and lotas of fun .... and of cos ... I was DRUNK for the 3rd time !!!! I am sooo lously LOL. and the best things is .... I puke again ... kinda of loser ha ha . Well i was just high when we start our drinking game but i got too high cos i drank alot n fast and lots of mix .... the worst being the BIG cup ha ha. Think chivas and the Girl only is the killer. After a few games ... i told them i cannot oreadi so i told them i will go sleep first ... after laying on bed for a while ... think i was oreadi alseep ... My "wife" jumped on me and woke me up ... and Karen starts to take "raping" pics .... and the worst thing is .... that "jump" on my stomach .... makes me feel likes puking ... and .... I puked within mins .... all thanks to my 2pid " wife" .... too late now ... tired .... part 2 another day !!!Say .... " Drunk " !!!!!!!

DRUNK !!!

Yesterday was a bad day .... I had my 2nd drunk in my whole life ( as long as I can remember ) Well i didn't drink alot but guess I drank too fast LOL .... dunno am I happy or am I not happy to drink that fast ... cannot rem liao also. But would just like to say sorry to both my classmates , Yj n Js , thankx for taking care of me when i was dead drunk .... puked 3 times ( or sessions actually ) i think. I must have created a scene .... by drunk and sleeping under the table in the heart of Prinsep street .. think there were still alot of ppl ard there when I was under the table ... turning here n there cos though me drunk i still can heard ppl talking around there ... soooooo MALU ...... think that was the worst sooo far .... the last drunk was in my own house toilet so no ppl know .... this time round was really bad ... lucky we not going "tower" next week ... really paiseh to face the ppl there LOL having dirty their floor with my puke ... :P Anywayz .... LOVE you guys ..... So sorry to give you 2 sooooo many trouble ... Promised to treat you 2 better ok ? ha ha ha ..... Love you 2 Many Many !!!! Thanks Sis ... and my loving "wife" LOL
From the bottom of my heart ..... Thanks and hugz !!!!

Btw attached my new gloomy pouches :) ( not all is mine though)

Life is .....

One of my emo moments again ..... but i seriously really wonder .... what is LIFE ? what is HAPPINESS ? what is SADNESS ? and blah blah blah ....... When a person is smiling and lauffing ... is he/she really happy ? is there something called a Happy-O-Meter ? Can someone give me 1 if there is ?

I am really disappointed again @ Home Coming .... Once again I did not received the small paper of recognition even though my result was str8 A+ again ... attendance is FULL too .... yet once again my name was not in the list ... when i ask a chef of mine ... he said nothing .... no answer for me .... asked one of the SA ... she say alot of P&C factors .... WTF .... i just want to know what the P&C were ... then i can improved myself. I know i am vain .... but .... they put it as "students who did it well in their last exams" .... I believe that i did well enuff to score all A+ yet ... ppl who dunno will think that i under performed cos only my classmates got that , yet i didn't .... I do care alot of how ppl look @ me .... @ least i dare to admit that I am VAIN !!! Then again , maybe i m kena marked ... sigh. I did all i can to be the best of myself oreadi ....

I think my drive in studee and work is highly affected by my moods , emo and feelings .... I dunno how long this energy/drive will still stays .... hope someone gave me a light ... guide me and stand by me to the ending point. I dun wan to go alone .... i am scare ,,,, lonely and .... tired.... Any1 out there ? To apply please post a comments , terms and conditions applies.

On the other side ... had some fun with my classmates recently though ... a few of us ... been drinking alot recently ... I guess this sort of bond us together .... but dunno good or not though cos not very healthy and not very cheap with all those mid-nite charges.And of cos .... we did all sort of "things" when we get high .... alot of 2pid things ... 2pid topic n stuffs .... But i really enjoyed myself ... not sure about them though .... seriously .... i don't feel that old when crazy with them but then I am really much older .... sigh .... 5-10yrs different .... think would be much better if i was 5 yrs younger ? ha ha wishful thinking ....

I always had pppl thinking that i am not that bad ... i m good @ this ... good @ that ... and stuff ... which that is not the actual me .... yet none believe me .... How can i make them understand the real me ? am i really that faked ? is it good or bad ? I really dunno ... thinking more of it make me even lost .... I really dunno who i m ..... Once again to all out there ... " I M NOT AS GOOD AS U ALL THINK I AM, I M BUT A GREAT PRETENDER !!!!! "

Secrets - I have tons n tons of it .... yet 99% of it cannot be told to anyone .... or rather .... 10% i can only tell to A , 10% only to B , another 15% to C and blah blah blah .... but it won't help in anything cos the 10% I tell to A, is not related to A but actually related to me n B , then things i told B is between me n A/C ( here get this str8 ... i dun mean telling A's secrets to B but rather things concerning me and A )

Hope I will get out of this stage soon ...... attached is my drinking buddies pic .... mainly my "wife" and my "drinking" sister .... ( P/s alot of 2pid pics n videos cannot be uploaded ..... so ... TOO BAD to you all who got no chance to see it :P)

Sabo king , MOB , Gloomy Bear :P

Long day ... Kena MOB today ... all the way to Tanjong Gul Camp .... damm far sia .... .. , Slient Mob @ 10am ... reach there ard 1pm ... thot sign can go off ... but they said lunch was indent ... sian 1/2 ... ard 2pm ... they say once all arrive then can go off ... ard 3pm ... CSP n CISS went off ... we CCP have to wait ... cos got 1 Sabo king .... he knows that got MOB today ... still die die went ahead to Pulau Hantu to dive .... damm #$%@$%@#% got ppl oreadi told him dun go liao ,he still die die go .. and the best thing is , officers said he ack the MOB @ 10am .... then when they call him ard 3pm ... he say he on the boat ... rushing back .... earliest will only reach @ 5.30pm ... MEANS we had to wait for him until 5.30pm ..... all damm pissed off ... lucky @ ard 4.30pm our PC told us we can out-pro and no need to wait for that F**ker to report ... Heng ... but still waited about 3hrs+ ... waste of time !!! Btw ... that F**ker is called Clement ... dun rem who he is though but i be looking out for him the next in-camp.

Went to Suntec for toys n comics convention ... took a pic with my fav gloomy bear ... and to my surprise , saw the creator of gloomy was there and signing autograph for ppl ( free , cos i think they sold out all their merchandises , if not might have to buy then he sign , i want to buy but no more stocks :( ) so anyway thick skin and get him to sign for me , though he wrote my japanese name wrongly ... but still it's free !!!!! ( some gals with video cam was camming when he sign for me and the gals ask me to wave n show the autograph in front of the big video cam wor ... wonder where my pics will show LOL ) ---- VAIN

Lost some .... Gain Some :)

Supposed to blog yesterday but was toooooo tired after the contest .... slept for about 12 hrs str8 !!! .. CONTEST ? Oh ... for those dunno ,,,, I took part in my first Pastry - related contest !!!! neber thot i had the chance , but YES i took part and .... and ... I LOST !!! ( this is for the Lost some part of the title )

27 June 2008 - I went to BITC with my classmate , Yj n Karen to take part in California Raisins Contest , Me n Yj took part in Plated Dessert and Karen took part in Bread. I was still having cold feet in the morning and kinda of regret i took part ... wanted so much to give up cos .... SCARED !!!! but told myself ... 1) Yj is going to be more freak out then me ,,,, so i must be strong .... 2) Alot of ppl know I m taking part in this ... so abit loser if quit 3) dun wan to disappointed my chefs in skool , cos they really help alot. Anyway back to the contest ... Well there was all 18 ppl in the Plated Dessert ... me n Yj is in the first group .... after we all finished ... i was thinking standard was OK ... the rest was not all very well done ... only a few stand out ... but when grp 2 start ... i see the diff , not only in the final end products BUt when they just started i took a peek and they all look PROs. Well b4 this , heard that F hotel is sending 2 CDP in ... me a trainee against a CDP .... kaoz .... sure die flat flat one ....

Part 1 of pissed off - Was very disappointed the way the contest runs ... cos Yj was 2nd to present ( we had 75 min to prepare and 10 mins more for plated ) but they only told her that she was to stay plateing first cos the 1st one encounted some problem !!! so she didn't even had 10 mins to plate !!! how can they like that ... also Yj wanted to put her chopsticks with the dessert but they dun allow her ... saying they judges got everything inside !

Part 2 of pissed off - I thot will be like in TVs i see , we will present our items to the judges and explained our desserts, BUT NO ... they just took and served ... we dun even had the chance to explained how our desserts should be eaten !!! I had my dessert returned with the RUM I served in my dessert !!!! it was supposed to be drank after the dessert !!! and 2 cups of sauces returned untouched ... it's supposed to be pour n eat with the pudding !!! so sad .... I think I am super sad becos , I might be a trainee ... but i came up with my own receipes ( better then those who used receipe from their chefs and come and complete) I just hope I could have a bit respect for my dessert also .. sigh ... comparing to losing ... this hurts me most !!!

Part 3 of pissed off - I seriously think Karen could have won ... should have a place in the top 3 .... but sigh ... NONe ... Winners are all from top hotels .... and was told ... Karen's marks was dedected for her display ... BUT there was this guy who brought all PRE-BAKE deco show piece ... which we was told ALL deco show pieces have to be made there !!! ( for plated side also got ppl bring in pre made sugar deco ... so not fair !!!!! just think this is kinda of unfair ... not a very pro contest in my view .... not becos I didn't win ... cos me just there for experiences ... I got nothing against any1 and some of the desserts really nice.

Part 4 of pissed off - Think we read too much into the Rules ....They wanted something simple and ingredients to be easy available .... is GOLD LEAVES easily available ? i dun think so ... and all those plated desserts that won .... none of it look simple .... it looks so nice that only served in Fine Dining restuarants ... Kena cheated was the whole feeling ... the main reasons we lost ... we toooooooooooooo 2pid .... to follow all the Rules !!! Sigh

Happy moments .... I m glad that we took part though ... so we can see the dark sides .... also to learnt from all these experience .... AND think my reward for the day was when Chef Fred told me .... though we ( me n yj ) are just trainees with less then 1 yr in this industry ... they way we plate our desserts was much fine n clean then some of the others , who might be yrs in this industry ... ( no offence here but can u imagine ,,,, a green tea color dessert with a HOT PINK deco .... super mismatch !!!! - that was 1 of those who prepared b4 hand !!! ) I think with my Chef's remarks ... it was better then wining ... cos @ least we get his reconigions , to me that is all worth-ed :)

Damm sianz ... heard will kena recall back tomorrow ..... and to Tanjong Gul Camp .... dammmmmm far in the WEST ... sianz and got FULL-PACK inspection .... had problems digging out my stuffs .... blessed me tomorrow ... i hate tomorrow !!!!

Attached is my plated dessert and the 3 of us before the contest start .... so joker rite ... still take pic

My Raisin Soyphiscation
The Trio

Long update again ... ....

It had been a long way since i updated here .... guess i been lazy ... ha ha ... and though there are things that upset me but not strong enuff to blog it here :P anyway few updates thus even though super lazy but me still decided to put it down here.

First of all .... my oreadi completed 3rd term of my studies , 2 more terms to go .... scary ... come to think of it ... it's super fast, if nothing goes wrong ... i should complete my dip in Dec'08 meaning 6 more mths. Term 4 going to consist of alot of breads ... chinese , french , indian ..... think our class might needs to really buck up cos if will be chef F to take us for most of the terms.

Oh had my term break this week , went fishing @ pasir ris pond with Karen yesterday. Arjun and Yj joined us in the afternoon to accompany us ... so sweet of them :P I reach there about 7.45am and decided to settle near the prawn fishing area. Took my own sweet time to assembly my stuffs and then continue to fish alone as karen say she will be late. After a short while i had a bite @ my line , but the fish was eating "inwards" meaning eat n swim @ my direction thus i dun have enuff time to whack it ... and i miss the catch ... so sad ... first bite and i lost it .... was quite dishearten but lucky i got another bite in less then 15 min and this time it was a hit.. soon karen joined me. There was this part which i am really pissed off .... there was this group of "PRO" anglers , who came over our side when they released fishes @ ard 1pm. I mean i am ok with them coming over cos this is very normal when fishes is being released. They got quite a few catches while we got none ... but when karen finally got one on the line , it cross with one of the "Pros" - cos in order to get fishes , they were throwing and crossing other ppl's line. The best thing was , he purposely whack his line and cause karen's catch to drop back into the pond, and the best thing is that cos the fish , think still in coma ... was still at the edge of the pond and i quickly ask karen to bring the net over so we can scoop it back ... the guy heard it and use his rod to whack the water , near the fish , trying to chase the fish away .... sooooooo loser ... he was the one that cause the fish to drop..... totally shamless and a BIG S-Hole .... We ended the day with me 3 catch ( 2 Kbls and 1 MJ ) and karen 2 "net" ( 1 injured KBL and 1 red snapper).

Oh almost forgot .... Me , Yj and Karen took part in a baking related contest and we will only know if we were shortlisted by yesterday. @ 4pm i told them ... aiyah if by 5pm we dun received any calls means no chance lot ... cos office hours mah ...so we waited and really no call came ... we thot no chance liao ... but to our surprise, @ 6pm i received a call and it was to inform me that i was shortlisted .... they were all happy for me ... and 5 min later YJ got the call as well ... and another 5 min later ... Karen also got the call .... so happy all 3 of us got it ... but kinda of scare also ,,, gonna be my first contest. After the fishing , me and Yj brought Arjun to Geylang to get Dim sum ..... think he really enjoys it ... or @ least he was STUFFED very full by us , ha ha until he say he eat until very tired ( think becos of the saltwater @ the pond)

Oh ... i was fully sun-burnt also .... guess skin will be coming off soon .... Btw , my contest will be next friday and also only know today there will be 2 sessions ,,, meaning me n Yj might not be in the same group ... wish us luck , of cos and Karen too. I m really excited and scared @ the same time regarding the contest .... anyway ... what will be will be ... gained experiences more impt ... win or dun win is just a matter of + or - .... :) so after so much toking ... here is the preview of my work , entitled Raisins SOYphistication !!!

FHA Dinner @ at-Sunrice by Classic Fine Foods & Rougié

Yesterday was a busy day ... Went to FHA2008 again in the morning to get some stuffs then had to rush back to skool b4 2 pm as there is going to be an event which was to start from 7pm to 11pm. We were all very busy setting up the desserts for the nite , and we only managed to complete all ard 6pm+ thus all just had a very rush dinner of Fried Rice ( only 15 min to eat n go toilet ). B4 7pm we were all @ our station waiting for the guests. On forget to mentioned , I was post to the Churros Station with my Daughter - 0 dan. And Yj and GGG was on the other end , serving the same thing. Was surprised that alot of guest does not know what is a Churros ..... Luckily Chef Jimmy "REFRESHED" my memory b4 the event on the origin of it. Our stn was quite busy , "business" was super good ... All my churros was almost snapped once we display it and my Chef thot we did not do enuff LOL and Chef Fred actually say will award me Dip in churros LOL .... It was quite fun toking to the guests and also intro Churros to them ... I would always go like .. " Evening Sir/Mdm , any Churros for you ? and if they ask " What's that" , I will replied " This is Churros. Sir/Mdm , It is actually Choux Pastry , like Cream Puffs , just that this is DEEP FRIED and not baked." Then is will also tell them " There is also Chocolate sauce and Raspberry sauce here" and if they ask " So which is better ? " I will replied " Try one plain ( just with the lime sugar tossed ) , one with chocolate sauce and the last with raspberry, that's why we served 3 in a plate." Standard questions and answers the whole nite :P Also there were alot of guests who came took a look and said they will come back later ( cos they haben had enuff of savoury items ) BUT they always come back for our Churros and back for MORE .. LOL ... And i very the "JIAN" cos some students and staffs who came by and ask to try i would always tell them ... pls only come to my station COS the other station very the "CAT" , their Churros very short ... mine better .... LONGERRRRRRR ... BETTERRRRRR LOL ha ha ha ..... SUPER " JIAN" .... But was very tiring ... staying there whole nite ... piping and frying .... and worst kena scolded by Chef Dean for drinking @ my station ... of cos i know it's wrong to drink in front of guest BUT there is no one to relieve me .... the other counter got 4 pax ... my side most of the time only 2 of us ... how to go other place hide n drink ... Duhz !!!

But was quite happy cos alot of the guest really like the Churros cos they keep coming back for MORE !!! and also there is this chef Paul Lenz of shangri la Singapore came to joke with us and also gave me his name card and saying that we should go work for him( when he asked us where we worked) LOL ( cos he say he like the way we enjoy while work cos we were like smiling all the way ) Well this might means nothing or maybe he's a bit drunk or just being friendly but to me ... a chef of his status , toking n joking with us .... i think this is more then enough for us ... We are just Trainees aka Cheap Labours ( or rather FREE labours for the nite ) That is one of the many things that make me enjoy the nite ( of cos making desserts , tasting them and all ... It was a good experience ..... though every1 was Busy , Tired .. but working as a TEAM was GREAT !!! liked that feeling .... It also help me to tok to more ppl from the other class ( becos of under-the-table butler trade. LOL .... Hope this Sat event @ Sentosa will be great as well and no hiccups !!! *Finger Crossed*

The Forbidden Kingdom

Just back from watching this show .... think was quite disappointing , even though b4 watching , oreadi read some reviews about the movie ( negative ones ) It's actually quite crappy @ some parts but would have to say the background music was nice ( sound like LOTR ) ... The movie itself remind me on LOTR also , Like the scene which Jet Li wore a white cape and rode a white horse , looks like Gandolf the White in Part 3 of LOTR. Then they mentioned in the movie ... Middle Kingdom ( like LOTR middle earth ) the part about the staff ... like the one ring in LOTR also ... also the evil wans to throw it into some fire/lava to melt it ... like LOTR also ... and of the THE Traveller Vs The Bearer in LOTR .... very Ang Moh style with Cheena story background ... think the only good part id Jet Li and Jackie Chan s' fighting scene. Oh forget to mention ... the White Haired Bride ... not fierce and evil enuff ... and the hair ... like bad hair day .... always blown and cover the face ..... doesn't look Stylo Milo @ all.

Pierre Hermé 's Desserts tasting @ Mezza9

Assiette Macarons

macaron carrément chocolate

Tarte Vanille

Emotion Céleste

Surprise Ispahan

Surprise Ispahan unwrapped

Tarte Mogador

Dessert Ispahan

Emotion Satine

As the topic stated ..... presenting part of Pierre Herme's Desserts @ Mezza9. Actually was trying our luck cos the reservation was full that nite and our only chance was the Martini Bar cos it's first come first serve basis. After my Jap paper , me and Yj took a bus and make our way to The Hyatt Hotel. When we reached there , we actually saw Chef Megel and Chef Pierre Herme outside the Bar. Made our way in and waited for 10 mins before we were approached by a staff and we waited for another 15 mins for a table , for us ... it was OK as long as get get to try our the desserts. Before we were there , we were already awared that there is 2 different dessert menu , one in the bar , the other is in Mezza9 itself.

We ordered 5 out of the 6 dessert offered in the Bar ( the last one too exp and not a fan of carviar ) We also ordered 3 martinis ( which was a waste of $ cos we were just there for the desserts !!! ) anyway we was in the bar till about close to 10pm then decided to try our luck @ the restrauant cos Yj wanted to try the Dessert Ispahan, so I ask one of the staff if she is able to help us a table or put us on waiting list cos we really wanted to try the other menu. Waited till about 10.20pm and decided maybe we should make a move cos outside last order is @ 10.30 pm .... just as we were going to ask for bill , the helpful gal service staff told us she managed to get us a table in the resturant. So we move over and try 3 other more desserts from the menu.Out of the 8 desserts we tried , Luv 5 , like 1 and dun like 1 .... BEST was Ispahan ( die die must try )and LEAST was the Tarte Mogador ( cos the pineapple was bitter ... think too much liquor ) ....

It was a good experiene , some ppl might say ... pay so much just for desserts ... most prob paying for the name ( PH ) only .... but it was really good esp the sorbet ....neber has I ever try something soooo smooth ... of cos Ispahan was my fav of all ( even when Mr PH was in my skool and showcase his items ( picture only ) I had really wanted to try it cos Lychee + Rose + Raspberry ... all my fav !!!! NO REGRETS !!!! ...Last but not least ..... our bill for that night .... $286.00 :P

The Soldier & His Virtuous Wife

17th April 2008

When to watch The Soldier & His Virtuous Wife <<都是当兵惹的祸>> today. Was quite blur cos i actually booked the tickets for 10th April , lucky they allowed us to change the tickets. It was very funny and the song are quite catchy and best of all they still got lucky draw wor.... Anyway truly enjoy the plays by The Theatre Practice ( previously watch their " If There’re Seasons… " 《天冷就回来》. Anyway these are some pic of the play and pics of my taking with the actors after the play.

What a day ... ... ...

Today supposed to be a very good day cos we had a guest speaker - Mr Pierre Herme for Home Coming. But sigh turns out it just happen to be one of my EMO day. Firstly , usually if we performed well in our exams, though just a piece of useless printed paper but to me ... since i got that for Term 1 ,,,, I was thinking why not just do my best try to collect all 5 ( cos total i only got 5 terms) BUT .. though i managed to get A+ for all my subjects , I did not get that 2pid paper :( and worst my daughter is getting better and catching up ... of cos i jealous but i happy for her , cos this shows that she will not be depress and say wans to quit skool anymore :P But I am still sad and angry for myself , cos I like to collect things in SETs ,,,, now this cannot be complete liao. Sigh.

Secondly is that , I wanted to ask Mr PH some questions regarding his books BUT did not get the chance :( Reasons ? ... First question was ask by my classmate ... so LL cos she more high profile ... 2nd .. before i could raised my hands , there is this 2pid guy , who is not even student of the skool , think is some staffs from some partners ... somemore ask in FRENCH wor .... chey ... take up my chances , thick skinned , then ask Mr PH about seafood with chocolate ... oh pls why dun you try yourself ? y ask Mr PH ? and what ? seafood in garnache ??? oh pls .... 2pid !!! And the last one ? was given to my classmates again just bcos LADIES first ? WATEVER !!!! pissed me off ..... I been waiting for the chance for the whole weeks !!! and dig out my info also just in case i ask wrongly !!! and there it was busted !!!! SAD

To make myself feels better , I decided to go Pine Gardens @ AMK to try their cakes cos been hearing about them but no chance , the pics on top are 4 cakes I bought ... but a bit disappointed though. 1) Black Forest - Nothing special, quite a lot of cherries BUT all flatten one, chocolate taste normal, not much kirsch (if there is any), 2) Orange Zest Chocolate - The orange layer zest smell nice when eat separate but if you eat together with the chocolate layer, it will cover the taste of the orange zest, 3) Lychee Martini - supposed to be good cos was listed as one of Top Singapore 50 Cakes by ST last sunday. but to me ... just normal, nice to have the puree in the layers and can taste of the martini but maybe becos it just a neighborhood cake shop, things use in the cake is very normal , nothing very special and if your expectation is higher, otherwise not too bad, 4)Strawberry Mousses - nice try , top jelly , center sponge and cream. 3 different texture BUT , they dun even glaze their strawberry ... very disappointed also the jelly would be better if stronger in flavour or maybe there should be some lemon or something to bring out the flat taste of just strawberry. I might not visit there again cos to me , it;s not too bad but ok ok only for a neighborhood cake shop. But saw their new menu ... they had a Bird nest cake ... and think with apple mousses or something ... that kinda of interest me :P till then .... Sigh not feeling much better cos those some sweet and nice cake might makes me feel better ... BUT yet again disappointed by MEDIA !!!

Dessert Bu Fei @ Marina Mandarin

Friday , 28th march

Went makan with 0-dan and Yj after Jap class. @ first they were saying that to only got for dessert buffet after out jap exam so was planing to go Dim Sum @ Geylang. But 2pif YJ says she got craving for sweets things so we went ahead with Dessert Buffet @ Marina Mandarin.

Atrium Lounge & Senses Patisserie
" The Dessert Symphony
(Every Friday, Saturday and Eve of Public Holiday, 8pm to Midnight)
On evenings of Fridays, Saturdays and eve of Public Holidays, let Atrium Lounge's Dessert Symphony Buffet (S$28 per person) indulge with a medley of over 30 decadent treats, artfully presented with each bite promising a harmony of flavours to the palate." - Quoted from Marina Mandarin Website.

Most of you must be wondering .... dessert buffet .... Y got a bandage leg ? This is the "GREAT WORK" of the 2 gals ..... cos 0-dan was wearing a limited edition flip flop !!!! so we scare there might be a dresscode for the lounge ... thus .. they thot of using bandages for the leg so we will have excuses as to why she was not in proper dresscode .... So funny ... and they actually thot and speak of it @ the same time .... they so "K"elever wor !!!

Tea with sugar stick

Coffee elcair

Firstly what greet us was the friendly staffs of the lounge and we were given seats at the other end of the buffet counter as the other side was full, the seat was quite BIG and comfy and it was next to some water feature. Next what greet us was the Tea/Coffee that comes with the buffet ( $1 per subsequent refill - i think ) . The sugar was soooooooooooo cute ... well maybe is Sua-gu ( mountain tortoise ) neber see b4 ... but it was soooo cute that we can't resist just licking and sucking it.

Crêpe Suzette

Triple melon something ?

First of all, was quite disappointed with the Crêpe Suzette cos from what we learnt was caramelized sugar then add butter and orange juice + lightly grated orange peel and the crepe will be put in and then the liqueur is added in and flambe then serve. But what they did was , 1) butter in then sugar in to caramelized then THROW in all the FRUITS !!!! strawberry + blue berries and stuff in to cook in the caramelized sugar ... so salah !!! and then they flambe it and after that then add in the crepe ... thus the crepe got no taste of the caramelized sugar smell and taste also there isn;t any flambe taste ... disappointed cos @ first we thot was like ... wow on the spot made crepe suzette. But the next thing i tried was good ... think was some melon thingy ... with cream cheese and the savarin was salty .... i like :P

Cream cheese + green tea?

Kaya Toast

Next I try on the cheese petti four , @ first we were thinking that what is the green thing with the cheese, and we conculde that "green" thing in Pastry usually is "Green Tea" or "Pistachio" after trying and trying ... we decided that it might could have been green tea cos of the after-taste ( also pistachio usually got a stronger taste. The kaya toast was not bad to me ... cos it was with 2 layers of Finger sponge and in between is kaya + butter , quite unique for a cake.

Layers of something white, green , red

Lychee macaroon+ dessert wine jelly with nata de coco

First of all the lychee macaroon is not too sweet , which i always hate macaroons as it will usually be too sweet for my tooth , BUT I can't taste of any lychee flavour and also they had a Apple Tea + Chocolate Macaroon which the apple tea's taste is totally covered by the chocolate.And the layers of things is actually quite nice BUT pls improve on the cutting ... mine look like Eiffel Tower + The Leaning Tower of Pisa !!!! it was big on the bottom and narrow on top and was like slanting to one side ( no excuses and tell me that is the design cos some of it was properly cut! but i have to give credit cos on the bottom layer there was a super thin layer of chocolate as base , and the whole thing was very soft , it must be very hard to transfer and display , and i like the red layer , can't remember was it raspberry or strawberry.Oh .... pls give credit to the dessert wine jelly .... it was the nicest I had that nice i think , also there was some parlines ,,,, one with dessicated coconut inside , that taste like pandan ? liked the one with a red toping on the white shell ( but i only like the red powder) , then there was one i think with nuts n raisins.

Chocolate Tart

Crème brûlée

The chocolate was not too bad and the golden ball is chocolate too , not some cheapo candy. The Crème brûléewas a bit disappointment also ... too thick and stiff ... think tooo much egg yolks or toooo less water/milk when using some ready-2-use Crème_brûlée mix.

Souffles

View form the bottom

Ok this had to be the worst of the worst from the whole dessert buffet ..... The Strawberry Souffle and the Chocolate Souffle , The strawberry one was under cooked , you can see it's watery below and it doesn't raised , in fact it sinked ! The chocolate one was over-cooked , it was very the stiff. Think they used steamer instead of oven so maybe that's why the taste is so bad, pls note you will have to waited about 20 mins for this , cos it's only steam when ordered. The other pic is the view i had from my seat , quite a nice place to hang out.

Some other things i tried , actually there were more stuffs but did not managed to take pic of all.In term of desserts-wise ... So-so ... but nice display of the petti fours but taste was can be improved also they seems to cut cost , use a lot of egg white foam instead of cream or custard , or maybe it is the recipes, But too much of the same things ... can get a bit *puke* also some of the stuffs must cut down on the sugar .. Esp there is this Sabayon something, The donuts can give a miss too. But nice place to hang out , services were good till certain timing ... we left @ about 2am ,,, and we were waving and waving but none of the 5-6 staffs saw us and we had to walk over to ask for bills. Staffs is not very sure of the current promo when we were paying up ( where the staff who attended to us did told us some promo)

FYI .... Citibank credit card holders , you only pay 2 pax for 3 pax to enjoy, so quite good deal , instead of $28++ ( think is about $33) , we paid about $22 each.> Nice place to hang out , chill and think we will still go there and try other desserts the next time round, of cos hope to see some improvement in some of the desserts. P/s : it will be good if they could off each a plate of what was in this picture.