爱与被爱，你如何选择？

一直在問自己，爱与被爱，我到低想要的是什麼。網上看到這篇文章，好相是一首歌的歌伺，但還真得梃有意事的。

* 盼不到我爱的人，我知道我愿意再等
疼不了爱我的人 片刻柔情它骗不了人
我不是无情的人 却将你伤得最深
我不忍 我不能 别再认真忘了我的人

离不开我爱的人 我知道爱需要缘份
放不下爱我的人 因为了解他多么认真
为什么最真的心 碰不到最好的人
我不问 我不能 拥在怀中直到它变冷

爱我的人对我痴心不悔
我却为我爱的人甘心一生伤悲
在乎的人始终不对 谁对谁不必虚伪

爱我的人为我付出一切
我却为我爱的人流泪狂乱心碎
爱与被爱同样受罪 为什么不懂拒绝痴情的包围 *

被爱是幸福，爱人是痛苦的。许多朋友总在为爱人与被爱这个问题烦恼。爱一个人是自己感情的投入与付出，心甘情愿，但当发现对方没有像自己爱他一样爱自己，又很痛苦。但如果说那找一个他爱你比你爱他更多的来不就行了嗎？自己又會不會決得如果不是全身投入的爱他，那又有什么意思？自己又能不能忍受不了与一个不爱的人一起生活呢？

那被爱和爱人，你又會選哲哪一個呢？我想我兩個都不選，我會選晢相戀。可能很難，但我還是想擁有這樣的一斷戀情。可能我已乘經擁有過了，而一裴子也不會再找到了。

我該放手了嗎？

等一個已不再愛我的人？我等得好累了，不知道我還能等多久。而他可知道我在等他嗎？就算知道又如何，因為他已不在愛我，而且他的身邊已有了另一個“他”。有時我真的怪他，為甚麼不能愛我多一點？為甚麼選摘逃避？可能我真的傷他太深吧！可是他一直說是我把他給逼走的，但可能他自己不知道，其時他更本就不愛我了。我止不過是他們之間的配角。＜如果你是真的還愛我，你就不會再一次選摘離開我。可能你自己都不清楚這一點。＞

* 我已经相信有些人我永远不必等
所以我明白在灯火栏珊处 为什么会哭
你不会相信 嫁给我明天有多幸福
只想你明白 我心甘情愿等等等等等你回頭 *

我很清楚我該放手了，只是還是會有這麼一點點的不拾得，必僅我們有很多開心的回億，我沒辦法說忘就忘。我還是會幻想著，有一天你會忽然抱著我，告訴我，我是你一身的伴侶。可是一覺醒來，夢還是夢。

最後還是想對你說。。。。。。。。。我愛你。

A nice song that i got addicted

The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move,
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am,
Some try to hand me money they don't understand,
I'm not...broke I'm just a broken hearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Policeman says son you can't stay here,
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

People talk about the guy
Who's waiting on a girl...
Oohoohwoo
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world...
Hmmmm

and maybe I'll get famous as man who can't be moved,
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news,
And you'll come running to the corner...
Cos you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
[Repeat in background]

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag not I'm not gonna move.

Another song I just heard on 《超级星光大道》and kinda of tell my current feeling , esp the last few verse.

康康 ﹣你不爱我

习惯被拒绝的人会先拒绝
这一次至少是我先说离别
有一些痛楚看不见泪水
有一种防卫叫做我无所谓
要让你快乐原是我的心愿
可是你从不在意我的伤悲
丢给我一些喜悦的碎屑
却带走我一切
你不爱我是我舍不得
是我不配为你在狼狈
你不爱我你真的不爱我
尽力而为我拼命给也是浪费
你不爱我是我舍不得
是我不配和命运作对
你不爱我你真的不爱我
一直以为我是后卫
原来只是那后备

☆林宥嘉伯乐☆

爱你的那一个伤你的那一个
谁才是你爱情中的伯乐
放弃了这一个然后等待着下一个
最后哪一个让你最舍不得
感谢不能让别人来说
你给过我的她们是做不到的
那时候的幸福是真的虽然过去了
我们也都经历了
释怀教育着仇恨和平劝着天下人
故事发生便住下了不管好的坏的
你让我成长了就算是痛得值得
一个个过客过得快不快乐
别太多过客祝你早日快乐
离开时别忘了看看眼前的人
流泪记住了还是微笑祝福着

Portfolio 2008

Was redoing my resume and decided to do a simple portfolio and hmm was quite impressed by my own work, so thot of sharing with those whom do not have my facebook. So much unhappy things had happened so thot post something nice n sweet to cheer those who are down and sorry for all the sad posting to those who had been reading :) Esp , Chong - thanks for dropping in to see how i am , very touched :) , well who else been following my blog ? do let me know , maybe i will return with a free dessert ? hee hee enjoy my work for 2008 and do comment or RSVP from me if it suit ur liking :)

Ps: these are just some of my work for 2008, looking forward for more

Dream revolution ...

Think it's time to wake up , change a different dreams, When I first did a career switch to follow my passion , being able to work oversea , learn different things and maybe becoming @ least a known chef in Singapore , ha ha , but I guess I am drifting away from that , for one , age is catching up , in this line , experience n exposure matters alot. How am I, turing 32yo , completing with others who are like 10yrs younger ? Life had been very good to me , looking back , I had no complaints , or rather I can't complaint. As the quote , everything happens for a reason. I just need to find that reason for all these.
Got another email asking me about at-Sunrice 's DIPB , really glad to be able to answer and help , currently 3 so far , hope to be able to help more , either myself or referring them to my juniors, also am very glad all of them are very willing to help one another. As i maybe had mentioned , help was given to me when i was once lost in choosing school as well, someone helped me along the way and thus I am paying it forward, and hopefully all those I helped will do the same , do keep in contact with me , and when the need for you guys/gals to pay it forward, I will let you ppl know, Let's all be a happy family of DIPB :) ( ha if only my school know how much i am helping LOL ) Think they be super duper surprise ? or maybe they will give me an award for it , ha ha . Can;t wait for my Grad in June .... hoping Arjun will come back then we can go Manbo again LOL.

Happy Valentine Day 2009

The time of the year again , where lovers are happy and single are lonely, My first lonely valentine day after 7 yrs , i can't have it had been easy. Things just dun happen the way we wanted ... Shall not go into much details , Just my mum finally found out I m Single again, which was .... hmmmmm easier then for me to break it out to her.

Alot of quarrels and stuff with my Ex again , still we ended up as Exs , hope of patching back is back to NIL again. Maybe i really need to look into my own character , alot of ppl been complaining. I am not a saint , even if changes , it takes time , so frenz out there who are reading this , forgive me and i promised i will try to change , to be a better me for you ppl.

I had decided to quit looking for another LOVE , maybe becos i haben close my last book , I am still at the very last chapter , but yet do no wish to close it as yet though i know i am oreadi at the last page. I still longed to flip back to the first page. I thot I had moved on and willing to open another book but recent happening makes me feel that I am just not ready to do that as yet. I will still be willing to start from page one all over again. Maybe I am just a loser in love , maybe I just dunno how to love , maybe really I just make a better fren. To my Ex , I had told u so , but maybe you dun believe , my door will still be open for you anytime if you ever to open it. I dunno for how long , I dun wan to give empty promise as to forever and ever BUT if that one day you wish to come back to me , just let me know. Cos I had told myself that I do not wans another R/L after ours, of cos someone did gave me a bit of "feel" after you left but I really dunno that "feel" is real or I am just trying forget you.As you said , all these is too late now , but I had kinda of shut myself up becos of you , Told someone that my heart had closed , cos deep inside there is already alot of ppl , every1 of my Exs had a small place in my heart and of cos u will too , no matter what happened. I really wish you to be happy with whoever you are with , that is from deep within. But we as humans are also selfish , very much I would want you back n maybe it's becos I know I can't thus I said all those above. Who knows someday , someone , somewhere is able to melt me once again , but i really doubt it at this moment. Cos I had choose to protect myself from hurting once more.
Time had really been bad , now I am with no Love , no Job , no Career , and I am lost ... but I had to be strong ... @ least try to put on a strong front for all those around me.

Lastly , I believe all things happened for a reason , It is not an easy things for us to know each other and be together for the past close to 7 years, I thank you for every moment , U had made me what I am today , without you , I might be still staying at my old job , and not taking a closer step to my own dreams. Though I do hate you for not giving us another chance to work things out but i just had to say thank you once more for being there for me for those time together. You will always have a place in my heart. Letting go now is not I dun love you anymore, dun ever doubt it.

P/s: Just want to say sorry also to those I had hurt , I am sorry but I really do not have any more spaces in my heart. We still can just be frenz if you ppl wans but I am afraid I cannot be that special someone that you wanted.

Edited from last post - To post or not to ?

This part was actually edited out from my last post , Thot decided to delete it but then realized that all my wishful things all along , cos I thot maybe there still be some chances with my ex and dun wan to "anger" my ex b4 a final decision had been made but it's just wishful thinking on my part , so since now all had been set , I should just state my own view , this is my own blog after all ... isn't it ?

< Firstly is the person who gave me hope after my last break off , gave me the "love" feel and then turn and run away , make me realized that maybe LOVE is not a game for me to play cos my defination is very different , though @ my age , ha ha , I still hope for the perfect LOVE , which i should pick myself up and tell myself , I had enuff...Must learn to protect myself then to let others hurt me with their sweet words.

Next is my Ex , gave me a hope to maybe we should try again , been telling me to voice out what i really wans but when I voice out and you can't deliever , then what for ? Told me , I am still the one who you wans to spend ur life with and stuff , YET your action is neber louder then your words. You keep thinking that you love me , but how much are you willing to show it ? how far can you go for the one you love ? You are the one whom wanted to patch back yet I m the one keep on giving in and the CHOICE is still in your hand. Well anyway in ur heart , I m always the one who had the upper hand, the high handed one , the die die I must win person , the unreasonable one .... ... I had enuff I guess ... making myself miserable for all these for nothing cos , maybe like you say you are not the one for me too. Our thinking of LOVE is so much different. Maybe it's all for the better. My life had picked up after you left then after that you had to come and make me fall into the valley again. Sigh. Maybe I dig my own hole and jumped into it again.

Had some problems with my Sis , Same thing she had always feel that I am the type that die die must win, unreasonable sort of person , ( Well maybe I am since so many ppl think that way , ha ha ) I really dunno , maybe that's my flaw. But in the whole conversation that we had b4 the quarrel , dun think i ever show that , where my side of point is that everytime she had a PMS she will just barked up my tree. I mean , fine , every1 got their emotional times , so what makes u think that I m in my best of mood then ? I guess that is the fault of being a "happy got lucky" pax. Fyi , I m having a lot of probs myself with lots of things in my mind too. But knowing her pattern , I took a step back , told her , maybe we had comms problem , maybe we should talk another day instead. But she had to add one last sentence that fyi , she is not the only one that had that views on me. To me , if you are so not happy with me then voice it out , dun have to go behind and tok abt me. And to me , at a point of argument , then you blurt out something , this means that that is really something that you minded alot, and if so "xin ku" to endure , then might as well not. And the best thing is , the next day , instead of trying to clear things up ourself or take a cool off period , she had to go n tell my daughter , and she had to come and ask me to hear my side of story. Which to me , WTF. Anyway told me gal the whole story and told her , maybe I need a cool of period from all , and frankly , to me all the while , my feelings was , I m just someone nice to hang out with , but being a fren to all of them ? I really wonder , maybe they did not give me that feeling @ all, or maybe I ask for too much. But it doesn't really matters now , time will drift all apart. Maybe I should be just like the rest of my classmates , neber engage , dun involve. We are just all classmates who took a course together. >

CNY 2009 - a new year, a new start ?

Light orange cheesecake mousses

Chocolate mousse + morello cherry compote + lychee mousse + lychee bits Topped with sparkling grape jelly

Had CNY gathering < potluck > @ my place this year since had been always @ others' place for the past few gathering. Those 2 pics on top are my newest creation.

Seems wrong to put this part here but I guess I had to add this in and i will minimize this type of SAD posting cos think it's getting a bit unhealthy. Life had been a bit down for me , though I m still able to lauffs if needed. Maybe I think I am turning "short" soon.

-----EDITED ------

Lastly , I need to get a job real soon ... all this is adding up to my problems, Soon i will turn every1 against me to protect myself ..... like what i always do , maybe not healthy , but at least it's a form of protection that I will have. Really hope I will really change myself for the better , open my eyes bigger to see people i know and not getting myself hurt anymore. And I will focus more on my baking , and hopefully turn this blog into something more on my passion baking and not just my "down" life.

My gang of close bros with their wives

P/s : You guys/gals are still the best frenz in my life who gone thru my ups n downs and no matter where we are or how less time we meet up , I know support and help will always be there, just a call away. Thanks !!!