The time of the year again , where lovers are happy and single are lonely, My first lonely valentine day after 7 yrs , i can't have it had been easy. Things just dun happen the way we wanted ... Shall not go into much details , Just my mum finally found out I m Single again, which was .... hmmmmm easier then for me to break it out to her.
Alot of quarrels and stuff with my Ex again , still we ended up as Exs , hope of patching back is back to NIL again. Maybe i really need to look into my own character , alot of ppl been complaining. I am not a saint , even if changes , it takes time , so frenz out there who are reading this , forgive me and i promised i will try to change , to be a better me for you ppl.
I had decided to quit looking for another LOVE , maybe becos i haben close my last book , I am still at the very last chapter , but yet do no wish to close it as yet though i know i am oreadi at the last page. I still longed to flip back to the first page. I thot I had moved on and willing to open another book but recent happening makes me feel that I am just not ready to do that as yet. I will still be willing to start from page one all over again. Maybe I am just a loser in love , maybe I just dunno how to love , maybe really I just make a better fren. To my Ex , I had told u so , but maybe you dun believe , my door will still be open for you anytime if you ever to open it. I dunno for how long , I dun wan to give empty promise as to forever and ever BUT if that one day you wish to come back to me , just let me know. Cos I had told myself that I do not wans another R/L after ours, of cos someone did gave me a bit of "feel" after you left but I really dunno that "feel" is real or I am just trying forget you.As you said , all these is too late now , but I had kinda of shut myself up becos of you , Told someone that my heart had closed , cos deep inside there is already alot of ppl , every1 of my Exs had a small place in my heart and of cos u will too , no matter what happened. I really wish you to be happy with whoever you are with , that is from deep within. But we as humans are also selfish , very much I would want you back n maybe it's becos I know I can't thus I said all those above. Who knows someday , someone , somewhere is able to melt me once again , but i really doubt it at this moment. Cos I had choose to protect myself from hurting once more.
Time had really been bad , now I am with no Love , no Job , no Career , and I am lost ... but I had to be strong ... @ least try to put on a strong front for all those around me.
Lastly , I believe all things happened for a reason , It is not an easy things for us to know each other and be together for the past close to 7 years, I thank you for every moment , U had made me what I am today , without you , I might be still staying at my old job , and not taking a closer step to my own dreams. Though I do hate you for not giving us another chance to work things out but i just had to say thank you once more for being there for me for those time together. You will always have a place in my heart. Letting go now is not I dun love you anymore, dun ever doubt it.
P/s: Just want to say sorry also to those I had hurt , I am sorry but I really do not have any more spaces in my heart. We still can just be frenz if you ppl wans but I am afraid I cannot be that special someone that you wanted.
No comments:
Post a Comment