Another animals story after 8 years

Kola was online and someone named Tiger pvt chat him, they had a chat.. and one line quoted from Tiger was “ We chatted b4 but think you ignored me last time”. This was what caught Kola’s attention; well curiosity always kills not only cat but KolaXiong as well. They chatted and decided to meet up on day near Kola’s workplace during lunch.
First date, Kola had to meet some frenz @ a pub and can only meet Tiger after that for Harry Potter. After time spent with frenz, Kola went to meet Tiger in the east for midnite show. After show they decided to take a walk @ the beach.
---This was all 7 years ago, details might not be accurate but more or less is like that.---

Times past … both had thot that they will be together forever, and spent the life with. Kola always thot to himself n tell his fren … Kola will neber break up with Tiger unless Tiger wans it. Cos emotionally Kola is very much attached to Tiger and being over confident Kola thinking he is cute, Tiger will neber leave him and will always forgive him no matter what Kola do. Kola being the super duper “lomantic” one always do little things to make Tiger happy, on the other hand, Tiger being the more logical one is abit wooden, which Tiger always admit n claimed. But Tiger neber realized that those things done for Kola is oreadi very “lomantic” to this 2pid bear. Like buying him a whole set of comics AND wrapping it up (Tiger’s own books were not wrapped usually) and cards for Birthdays, Valentine’s and Anniversary. But all these stop after a few years, Things gets into that comfort + stagment zone … Tiger being the more logical one, starts to gets Kola more n more practical prezzie. Kola liked those of cos but would have very much prefer it to be like last time … a tiny cards with sweet wording and stuffs. Fault is no alone … Kola, being the playful one; always hands out and played with other animals in the Jungle. This causes Tiger to be unhappy and soon no longer trust Kola. Quarrels after quarrels, still they tried to be together BUT one final day … Tiger can no longer feel the love from Kola and can no longer trust him. Tiger decided to call it quit. Kola finally realized that Tiger no longer the same … no the same tiger that would love him and care for him, It comes as a shock cos being the over-confident Kola, he always thot Tiger would be with him to the very ends.

Days pass … and weeks passed, Tiger had left the Jungle, and Kola being the emotional one sits on the beach and waiting n waiting …. Dunno how long he will waits, but times will tell … maybe one fine day, Tiger will comes back to the Jungle and love Kola again but then … maybe that day will neber comes and Kola will just give up and moved on …. Time will tell and heal all wounds and Kola believed one day, he will move one … either together with Tiger, or alone … or who knows someone else will comes along and pick Kola up…. But Kola thinks to himself … Maybe there are some people in this world that is just not meant to be BF material and Kola is one of them, Kola neber fails to hurt all those who loved him, this is the 2nd story I written … the first one was 8 years ago …. This means Tiger is not the first who had been hurt by the 2pid bear – KolaXiong.

I am such a loser ?

Ppl always say , when one door close , another open .... but seems ALL doors are close to me ... but then every1 keep saying ... Everything happens for a reason ... I dunno ... Seems when you are down ... all things just follow ....

No matter how hard I try ... today is still very unbearable ... almost wanted to cry @ work ... but controlled it ... Reasons as to Y so emo ? cos was labeling the cakes we baked today ... so many of them and ALL I have to write down the dates .... and BINGO it's 28/11/08 .... why must it be this day ? I just so hated it but still I had to labeled it .... DO I HAVE A CHOICE ? NO is the ans ... Then have to do retail as well .. though feeling so bad inside I still had to smile @ customers ... I just feel like going home but yet I can't. Was quite a busy day @ work today answering alot of calls and walk-ins. And to think that is the worst ... it's not .... I dunno how true is it but someone told me that my boss say i cfm staying there to work AND he is very sure I cannot fins a job outside ... Am I really that bad ? If I am then why you bother to take me ?

Had some unhappiness with my mum these 2 days .. .my mood had not been good and there she is nagging @ all the wrong things ... Suddenly I just realized that not only I lost my love but I also lost the one person who is always so supportive of what I do. Support me to do what I want , give me both +ve and -ve advices on my creation ( cakes n desserts) AND always believe in me as to I can archive more. How often you find that someone who really supportive in things you do ? and believe in you when no one else did ? Praise you when you are good n pull u down when you are not ? Even my family members dun do that to me .... I suddenly feel so lost ... my support pillar is no longer there ... how long can I survive ?

Health is catching up on me also ... think old liao ... been coughing after 7pm nowdays and everytime just feel like puking ... yet nothing comes out.Didn't eat as much nowdays also , dun really drink that much sodas nowdays also ... been trying to cut... Maybe it's good to take this time to cut some weight.

I longed for someone to love now , but yet I am no seeking , cos I always believed that you have to close one book b4 you open another.... My chapter with you is over but the book is not yet closed ... @ least not for me. As I told you , I still hope for a MIRACLE but then I dunno how long my faith will be. Decided to shut myself off all ways of meeting new ppl , always felt to look for love , you might as well wait for love to come to u. @ least you won't be that sad if you find nothing cos u neber try in the first place ... rather then you try n try then cannot find ... you be more sad...

LOVE .... when ppl in love , they always promised things like " I would love you FOREVER " But when love is no longer there .. will there still be a FOREVER ? but then we are all humans ... we still will say things like that or wants to hear things like that. LOSER ( of cos lar ... if you tell your love one " I love you but not forever cos I dun wan one day we no longer together then you blame me" ... how will your love one feel ? bad , sad , angry ... rite ? We are all just humans ... with feeling n ... big time loser :) So maybe I m not alone :P

It's all finally over ....

This time it's really over .... finally it all end .... I will pack myself up ... all my emotion and move on ... no matter how long it'll takes .... I also dunno how many 7 years I'll have .... sigh .... Happiness is always not equal to forever to me :) I 'm just jinx !

東主有事，休息一星期

Will be busy these 2 days and ... something still on my mind ... so will currently stop for a week till I am more cool down. Hugz

I decided to give up ....

Know this is tough choice but I decided to give up waiting and hoping. Heart is aching every now and then and if to hold on waiting ... I be more painful and think it will get worst .... I dun think I can endure much longer this way. I choose the short n sharp pain way ... give up myself ... @ least I know pain is there but it be better then to have to endure this longer .... the faster I give up ... the faster the wound will heal. Letting go doesn't means I dun love you anymore .... in fact it might actually means I love you even more , and standing by my thots ... Loving someone is not about possessing someone but rather wanting that someone happy. Since u might have made the choice or not ... to make it much easier for you ... I make the choice for you. Letting you go and be happy ... is the least I can do for you. Maybe you dunno ... tears really dried up .... Thinking of you just make my heart more aching ... so letting you go might be the right choice .... @ least for now. I be ok .... I will stand where I fall ... worst I still can rely on my friends ... But I want to do this alone. I really wish you find al the love you can with ur new love and try to be a friend to you. Thanks for being there and taking care of me all these while, must have been hard on you but now you are free ..... Good Luck.

PS : to me , if you love me , you dun need so long to think , if u dun love me , think so much also no use. I prefer 要愛就愛，敢愛敢恨。

PS 2 : 我好想給你最後一個擁抱

Can someone answer me ?

Been thinking this question .. if someone out there reading this have an answer for me ... pls leave me a comment ...

Had been crying bit here n there ... until recently ... realized there is like no more tears but i felt my heart is aching alot ...it's not pain ... dunno is it mentally ... but I feel the ache there on n off @ times. The theory behind no more tears is becos I no longer sad ? or I m still sad ? I really dunno. Suddenly felt lighter and realize that lost those few kgs that i put on last few mths ... maybe it's good thing also ....

Suddenly this song was on my mind ....新不了情
心若倦了泪也干了
这份深情难舍难了
曾经拥有天荒地老
已不见你暮暮与朝朝
这一份情永远难了
原来时还能再度拥抱
爱你的人如何死守到老
怎样面对一切我不知道
回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了
为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了今夜的你应该明了
愿难了情难了
心若倦了泪也干了
这份深情难舍难了
曾经拥有天荒地老
已不见你暮暮与朝朝
这一份情永远难了
原来时还能再度拥抱
爱你的人如何死守到老
怎样面对一切我不知道
回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了
为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了今夜的你应该明了
愿难了情难了
回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了
为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了今夜的你应该明了
愿难了情难了

I cannot control......我愛你

Drunked last nite ... lucky no hangover this morning .... cried to bed as per past few days ... happen to chat with a good fren last nite , analysis about the problem .... and ask me to give up. If not then dun pissed the other party off ...

Wake up early in the morning ... decided to write a letter ... hand written letter .. dunno why but just thot just let it be known how i felt ... dun think it will help anything but just feel like doing so .... - 2pid me again. Acutally decided not even to SMS but 5 min ago ... cannot control ... SMSed again. Whole day i rvc anything ... maybe i really dun mean a thing @ all.

Heart is aching ... very painful .... but there's nothing i can do ... anymore .... I just have to endure ..... n maybe letting go is good for both of us ... maybe that is the only choice i had .... not i wan but am forced to take ....

Wat will happen in a mths time ?

Had a chat ... you say you wan a cool off period ... saying that you might reconsider the decision you neber regret making . To me ... maybe it just a time for you to let me get use to u as a fren cos since you had oreadi commited to the other party ... i really dunno ..... I wanted to believe you but yet I m scare ... what can i do or not do to within this mth ? Am I supposed not to do anything ? Will I overdo things ? You said you will not see him for this mth too ... can you control ? is that really true ? I am very scare that this is just but a false hope ... But I will wan to try ... try to trust you all over again ... I'll try BUT again ... in 2 weeks it's our anni ( ok supposed to 7th yrs ) so how should I react ? should I just act blurz and try to celebrate with u ? or should I not do anything ? I really dunno. Can someone teach me what I should do and not do ? wat will u do if u're in my shoe ? facing a stiuation like this ? I really dunno ...... I am so lost now .... OR maybe i should take that as a sign on which side you are at ? If you date me out ... chances ++ if you act blur or appear to be busy ... then chances-- ? How will i know ur choices also ....

It's all over

Time's up ... just as I had expected this is the ending I'm getting ... Time to move on ... Since you have made the final decision. Dunno how long I will take to recover but then it'll neber be your concern anymore. Thanks and goodbye 4ever.

Single again ....

14th Nov ... 14 days to 7yrs together ... you drop the bomb .... calling it quits .... SAD but what else can I do ? Decision had been made and I respect your wish and I wish you all the best for whoever came along and hope he be a better partner then I am.

Seriously I dun hate you nor blame you , fault is mine for not being able to give u the trust you wanted. I am just sad cos we spent abt 1/5 of my life so far ... 1/5 = 6yrs+ ... that is a long time .... And instead of talking it out or giving us another chance you decided to give others the chance. Well assuming knowing you ... the other party must be really able to give u the happiness in such short time. Well i guess time is not the main issue here , Love .. once gone means gone.

I will try to be strong but then i really dunno cos it is always when you finally lose someone then you regrets , I guess I am just a normal human too.

Thanks for the time spent together be it happy or sad .... always thot that we will be 天長地久 but now it becomes 丞經擁有. Maybe you be happier without me in your life , hugz.

8.30 pm now .... 3.5hrs more to the deadline ... Though i know very sure that you will never make it back to see me , but i guess it will be better for me to accept it once and for all , call me 2pid ... call me childish or even drama ... but I guess I just can't accept it and running from it ... but fact will be fact .... so sorry but I decided to go for the hard way. Lying on the bed that we slept together b4 ... makes me realized that you be gone forever ...對不起,我愛你。

I should be happy ....

Will be getting busy soon cos supposed to be in charge of getting the front retail store running with new menu and desserts. 4 of us have to give a detail plan of everything and get it up and running by next week. Well I should be happy cos I will get the chance to to launch my own range of plated desserts .... ya MY OWN !!! but then again, I dun think I am really up to it yet ! But this will be a good chance for me to prove myself to MYSELF !!! So .... I am taking the Challenge !!! *cross finger* So look out for my new creation :) must come support ok when launch !!!!! hee hee.

Oh... another good thing is ..... my junior read online of a posting from a customer here This is the cake that I design recently , though I thot it looked very the cartoon and not very well done cos my skill is still not there yet ... But I feel great cos the customer liked my idea of the opened door :) I did wasted quite some time on the house deco but I think this is all worth it !!!

To stay or to move on ... ... ...

A nice pic from last KL trip.

As per my last post ... this is turning into my 5th and final term. Thus staying with my currently attachment site or moving on to another is a question that i need to ask myself. My boss had tok to me 2 times oreadi and both times I m not able to give him an confirmed answer. The thing is , if possible , if can get a job elsewhere with more exposure, I will move on but with everyone saying that market is bad … makes me wonder if there is any jobs out there for me. To me , if you are asking me to stay or not , @ least throw me an offer and not just ask me to make a decision based on blank paper.

Just today my chef talked to me … about same issue again , still I gave her the same answer , cos I really cannot commit , she‘s like hinting that if I decided not to commit , chances of me learning more things will be limited and she will also not delegate more things to me. I feel bad n sad , Bad – cos my chef did consider me as the more reliable one ( maybe there’s no one else ? )

Maybe I think too much …. Sigh … just that a lot of things crop up … 1 ) the above mentioned, 2 ) going to face the music tomorrow in school for my MCs @ work , 3) Japanese exam coming up and I cfm fail one 4 ) no $ cos Boss neber come to work today so I no pay and lunch $ 5) My army med status _ IPPT … die … A lot more to write but dunno how to continue …. Till then bah …