Ppl always say , when one door close , another open .... but seems ALL doors are close to me ... but then every1 keep saying ... Everything happens for a reason ... I dunno ... Seems when you are down ... all things just follow ....
No matter how hard I try ... today is still very unbearable ... almost wanted to cry @ work ... but controlled it ... Reasons as to Y so emo ? cos was labeling the cakes we baked today ... so many of them and ALL I have to write down the dates .... and BINGO it's 28/11/08 .... why must it be this day ? I just so hated it but still I had to labeled it .... DO I HAVE A CHOICE ? NO is the ans ... Then have to do retail as well .. though feeling so bad inside I still had to smile @ customers ... I just feel like going home but yet I can't. Was quite a busy day @ work today answering alot of calls and walk-ins. And to think that is the worst ... it's not .... I dunno how true is it but someone told me that my boss say i cfm staying there to work AND he is very sure I cannot fins a job outside ... Am I really that bad ? If I am then why you bother to take me ?
Had some unhappiness with my mum these 2 days .. .my mood had not been good and there she is nagging @ all the wrong things ... Suddenly I just realized that not only I lost my love but I also lost the one person who is always so supportive of what I do. Support me to do what I want , give me both +ve and -ve advices on my creation ( cakes n desserts) AND always believe in me as to I can archive more. How often you find that someone who really supportive in things you do ? and believe in you when no one else did ? Praise you when you are good n pull u down when you are not ? Even my family members dun do that to me .... I suddenly feel so lost ... my support pillar is no longer there ... how long can I survive ?
Health is catching up on me also ... think old liao ... been coughing after 7pm nowdays and everytime just feel like puking ... yet nothing comes out.Didn't eat as much nowdays also , dun really drink that much sodas nowdays also ... been trying to cut... Maybe it's good to take this time to cut some weight.
I longed for someone to love now , but yet I am no seeking , cos I always believed that you have to close one book b4 you open another.... My chapter with you is over but the book is not yet closed ... @ least not for me. As I told you , I still hope for a MIRACLE but then I dunno how long my faith will be. Decided to shut myself off all ways of meeting new ppl , always felt to look for love , you might as well wait for love to come to u. @ least you won't be that sad if you find nothing cos u neber try in the first place ... rather then you try n try then cannot find ... you be more sad...
LOVE .... when ppl in love , they always promised things like " I would love you FOREVER " But when love is no longer there .. will there still be a FOREVER ? but then we are all humans ... we still will say things like that or wants to hear things like that. LOSER ( of cos lar ... if you tell your love one " I love you but not forever cos I dun wan one day we no longer together then you blame me" ... how will your love one feel ? bad , sad , angry ... rite ? We are all just humans ... with feeling n ... big time loser :) So maybe I m not alone :P
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